Non-Negotiables
Yesterday was a magnificent day. It was the perfect balance of self-care and productivity. I believe it’s a result of my new routine. This past week, I began to seriously incorporate time for myself every day.
I started my mornings with meditation for 20 mins. I followed that up by writing my unfiltered thoughts in my journal. Then, I took time to write these daily thoughts and post them.
Only after I finish these three items, do I begin my workday.
They’re starting to become non-negotiables in my life. And if I’m not mistaken, the more time I invest in my well-being, the more I am able to handle. For the first time, I’m beginning to internalize what it means to take care of yourself first, before you can care for others.
What are your non-negotiables?
Sound of Silence
As much as I love to be surrounded by peace, silence can be unsettling. I’ve been getting deeper into my practice of daily meditation, and I’ve been trying to incorporate a level of stillness and quiet throughout my day. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I started becoming aware of how plugged in I am to, not only my devices, but the desire to be occupied or entertained by commentary at all hours of the day:
I wake up, scroll through my phone.
Meditate for 20mins.
Make my coffee while listening to a podcast or music.
Have instrumental music play in the background while I work.
Eat lunch and watch an episode of something.
Back to work, with more instrumental music.
Make dinner while having a show, or a podcast, on in the background.
Eat dinner while watching something.
Work on some creative projects.
Watch a few more episodes.
Go to sleep.
There is very little time where I am just present with myself, no distractions. Yesterday, I began making small decisions to disconnect from the noise. I stopped trying to fill every crevice of silence with sound. It felt strange. So many impulses where I wanted to be occupied by something external.
However, I found it oddly comforting just being with me. It was new. It was nice.
Cup Of Love
I used to dread having friends ask me “what’s new,” or “what have you been up to?” I became tired of hearing myself repeat the same goals and aspirations that I wanted to accomplish, knowing I haven’t done much to achieve them.
I began overthinking about how I’d put a spin on it each time I was asked. What I was really avoiding to say was, “this is what I want to do but I’m too scared to try and it’s been like this for the last few years.” Something I think we can all relate to?
However, I began noticing that in hoping to avoid those conversations, I was starting to avoid my friends. It wasn’t extreme, but friends would reach out and I would usually keep my updates short. When I felt more “on track” with my life, that’s when I felt excited to share what I’d been up to.
Yesterday, I was reminded how ego-centric all that thinking was. In a matter of hours, I spoke with two incredibly special and dear friends from around the world. Friendships that range from 6 to 16 years. We had beautiful heart to heart conversations that gave me an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude.
To speak with friends as if no time has passed is an indescribable gift.
So, this is a reminder to you. Wherever you’re at in your life, has nothing to do with the love people have for you. To be surrounded by friends who are there for you, means they’re there for every part of your life. Whether it’s a hot mess or a beautiful hot mess.
Let them in and bask in the love.
Livestream
9:41am: It’s one of those days! I don’t have much to talk about so let’s see where this takes me.
9:49am: Wow, I’m really drawing a blank.
9:50am: I’m getting some new running shoes, which I’m excited about.
9:50am: I made a delicious batch of Tom Kha Gai soup yesterday.
9:52am: The temperature is increasing, and I am so grateful!
9:53am: I’m late to the game, but I’m watching Golden Girls for the first time, and I love it!
9:54am: Putting pressure on yourself is so overrated.
9:55am: I really want to have a 70s themed birthday party.
9:57am: Thank you for stopping by to my livestream of thoughts.
Takeaway: It is what it is.
A Picture’s Worth…
How we value ourselves, says everything to the world around us. We show others how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves. But while we may think of ourselves as worthy, we may act otherwise.
Recently, a dear person in my life asked if they could purchase some of my sun photos. I was in shock. I’ve always wanted to print and sell these photos but didn’t think they were worthy enough to be purchased.
I wasn’t diminishing my talent, it’s just that when I think of selling prints, I think of photos that have been captured on DSLR, or film, or edited to perfection on Photoshop. Standards that I’ve fabricated in my mind.
When she asked how much it’d be to purchase the photos, I was uncomfortable. How do I determine my worth without sounding unfair, rude, inconsiderate, selfish? All these thoughts started pouring in. When I stated that I only wanted her to pay for half and the rest would be a gift, she insisted she’d pay for all.
I knew that this was a moment to reflect. Stating your worth has nothing to do with being nice. And when I decided I wanted to be nice over my worth, this beautiful person reminded me otherwise.
Yesterday, I sent off the first prints I ever sold, and I feel indescribable. I am forever grateful for the people in my life who remind me of my worth. Thank you.
Sun prints soon to come.
To Post or Not to Post
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my relationship with social media is very up and down. I used to feel obligated to share parts of my life with everyone. In the last few years, I’ve come to retire that duty.
Instead, I only post and share what truly inspires me or what I’d love to share with others. But sometimes, that line can be a little blurred.
Yesterday, I was making hot chocolate in this super cool way. As a gift, I received a “chocolate bomb” from a local confectionery boutique. It was a hallow chocolate ball with more chocolate and marshmallows inside.
You place the ball inside your mug, pour hot milk or water over it, and watch the chocolate melt into a hot tub of deliciousness.
I felt so compelled to document and share this moment on my Instagram, but at the same time I wasn’t in the mood. I remember thinking, “well, let me just record every step anyway and I’ll decide if I want to post it or not.”
However, that wasn’t the point. I wanted to simply enjoy this moment and not worry about getting a shot of the chocolate in its packaging or setting up my mini tripod so that I could drop the ball into the mug and record handsfree.
Navigating a real and virtual world can be so weird. The fact that I’m even writing about this is hilarious but at the same time, I know many people can relate to what I’m talking about.
As much as I love to create and share with others, I first want to love and create for myself. Not everything we create, needs to be documented.
Walk To Remember
Yesterday, I decided to act on one of my goals and immerse myself in nature. I went for a long walk. While it was absolutely freezing, at 31°F (-0.5°C), I bundled up, walked around, and watched the sunset.
While on my walk, I picked up a large cup of hot tea, listened to some of my favorite songs, and got lost in the lights and sounds of the city.
I underestimated the wonderful power of low-impact movement. Running is great, but just walking and taking in your surroundings can be magical.
I was reminded of the long and beautiful walks I’d take in Miami, after being quarantined for over two months. For over a year that, and running, was the only activity I did. Every step rejoiced of freedom and healing.
As cold as it was yesterday, however, I still felt that same essence of freedom. Movement is powerful. Not only to exercise the body, but the mind as well.
My goal has been updated to making this a daily activity.
Hooky
Lately my focus has solely been on being productive in my work and building my career. Of course, this is extremely important to me, but yesterday I was reminded that I had been all work and no play.
Yesterday morning, I was ready for the day with my laptop, toast, and tea in hand. I began catching up on emails when I thought to myself, I need some fun right now. The night before, I started watching the new Disney film, Encanto, but was too tired to finish it. I had a little more than half of the film to finish and in between emails, I decided to watch the rest.
I was playing hooky and it felt amazing. For the rest of the day I was singing, “We don’t talk about Bruno-no-no.” I even tried to do that challenge on Tik Tok but failed. It didn’t matter though. I felt like a kid again, and it was just what I needed.
I can take myself way too seriously sometimes, especially with my goals. Sometimes you just need a break to do something fun.
A Meditation
I would like to offer you a meditation.
This will only take a few minutes, or longer if you prefer.
Find a quiet place. You can play soothing instrumental music in the background or, if you prefer, sit in silence.
Get into a comfortable position. Sit nice and tall in a chair, with your feet on the floor. Or lay down flat on your back.
Begin with your eyes closed and start taking deep breaths. Focus on your chest rising with every inhale and lowering with every exhale.
Inhale through the nose, and exhale through your mouth.
Release any weight, tension, or stress you may be carrying. Watch it all melt away. With every exhale feel yourself getting a little bit lighter.
Return your breath to its natural pace. Inhaling and exhaling normally.
Repeat this for a few minutes.
Bring your attention back into your room.
Open your eyes.
How do you feel?
Mind The Chatter
I’ve noticed how much chatter there’s been around me. I’m talking about the noise that I voluntarily listen to.
For quite some time, I’ve been in the awful habit of checking my phone the second I wake up. I’ll lay in bed and scroll between apps filled with news, updates from friends, texts, junk mail, and an endless amount of random notifications.
I then wake up carrying the weight of all this information in my head, which can alter my mood in so many unpredictable ways. As incredible as it is to be connected with the whole world at once, it can be extremely overwhelming.
Yesterday was one of those days where I felt overwhelmed by information. So, I decided to slow down my day.
I began making myself unavailable, which for me meant working in a different place away from distractions. I took time to meditate which allowed me to pause all the background noise that was playing in my mind.
I was reminded by a dear friend to take some time to breathe a little deeper. And with that, I began moving a little slower.
Sometimes we feel pressured to consume everything that’s happening around us. The reality is, we owe it to ourselves to mind our inner peace. That should always remain a top priority for all.
New Month, 6 New Lessons
It’s the start of a new month. In honor of that, I thought I’d share some lessons that January taught me:
You cannot do everything at once – Prioritize your tasks, do what you can and to the best of your ability.
Prioritize yourself – Emphasis on this! Put yourself first. If you don’t look after yourself, you cannot be available for anyone else.
People will learn to value you by how you value yourself – Set up boundaries, declare what your needs are, demonstrate to other’s how you should be treated.
Give yourself time to rest – Don’t “earn” your rest, incorporate it into the fabric of your life.
Treat Yo Self – This is somewhat self-explanatory but spoil yourself. If you need context, watch this clip from my favorite show, Parks and Rec.
Spend time outside – Step away from the screen, social media, being available 24/7 and experience life IRL.
These are core lessons that I will continue to remind myself to adapt in this new month. Growth occurs in the details of our actions. Step by step I’ll continue to be the best version of myself.
Ebb And Lull
I’ve been slowly including more projects in my day-to-day, one of which is taking free courses in some subject areas that I’ve been curious about. Yesterday was the first day I became intentional about setting aside time for the courses. I’m happy and proud that I’m finally prioritizing these goals. However, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of a lull.
When you start projects or goals, at first, it’s exciting and you feel a momentum that has no intention of slowing down. But when you’re in that consistent routine, the excitement tends to ware off, at least a part of it did for me. And while I was thrilled that I was finally making time to expand my knowledge, I couldn’t help but feel unenthusiastic about starting yet another project that will take more time to complete.
I have a couple of theories as to why I may be experiencing this lack of motivation. One large factor is spending way too much time on my computer and phone in general. I think we’ve all made extensive use of our devices in the last two years. And as much as I love to create, I think I’m a bit exhausted from my excessive screen time.
Adding on to that, I want to create more social and outdoor experiences. The weather and pandemic have made it difficult to do so, but not impossible.
What I’ve learned from these past two years is how important it is to be honest with yourself. Feeling exhausted, unmotivated, and unenthusiastic, is completely normal.
It’s part of the ebb and flow of life. And while right now I may feel this plateau, I’m comforted in knowing that this will pass.
When Life Gives You Criticism…
What does it feel like to work with others and not take their feedback personally? For so long, I’ve found it difficult to separate myself from what I do. Quite often I would take a person’s feedback for anything I produce, as a criticism of me, Aida.
I’d follow up on this perceived criticism with self-critique, laying into myself for not doing things right the first time. It’s quite exhaustive.
Yesterday, I delivered a business proposal for a client in an industry I’m still learning about. Even with the doubts I had, I persisted to finish the proposal and submit it. I was happy with what I had produced because I knew I genuinely did the best with what I knew.
Shortly after submitting, I received many notes regarding the proposal. For an instant, I felt myself reeling towards a voice in my head that began criticizing myself. I couldn’t separate my work from me. However, because I had other tasks to work on, I knew how much time I’d waste by dwelling on this matter. And so, I decided to not make it a matter to dwell on.
I listened intently to the feedback I received, made the modifications necessary, and reworked the entire proposal. It wasn’t a peachy or smooth process because I definitely went in and out of frustration. And when my self-critiquing thoughts became too much, I took a break and spent 10 mins meditating.
This takes time. A growing process of unlearning. However, I’ve seen a glimpse of my evolution, so I know it’s possible.
Half-Marathon-Aversary
On January 29, 2021, I did something incredible and ran my first half marathon. What led me to even conceive of the idea of wanting to train and run a virtual half marathon during the pandemic? Well, after finding my feet outside of my apartment during the height of quarantine, running became everything for me.
Yes, it was a way to exercise and shed a little bit of that pandemic weight. Far beyond that, however, it became an outlet to release all the pent-up frustration, confusion, hopelessness, stress, loss, and sadness that the pandemic brought with it.
To make it extra special, Miami was my backdrop, so I cherished each sunrise and sunset that I witnessed throughout all my runs. After my birthday in December 2020, I started a virtual run challenge of my own called, “Run with Gratitude,” where I reflected on what I was grateful for during each run. I had the pleasure of running virtually with people around the world and felt such an amazing bond.
Shortly after that, I began to see fellow Miami runners post their registration for the Half and Full Miami Marathon on social media. Due to the pandemic, this was going to be a virtual race where you’d register to secure your shirt, medals, and gear, to run your distance between a three-week period of your choosing.
I was unsure if I even had enough time to train, but I felt that this was a perfect goal to focus on to distract me from everything. I registered and set my date for January 29th.
As a bonus, the race gave each runner a training guide to prepare themselves for their distance of a 5K, half, or full marathon. I became so disciplined and scheduled my time alongside the guide. I set aside rest days, iced my knees regularly, and religiously did my warmups before each run. This sounds crazy thinking about it now, but I even trained and ran my race while wearing a blue surgical face mask. I know, I was overly conscious but who wasn’t? All I can say is my lung capacity definitely improved.
On the day of my race, I remember finding it so funny how I woke up feeling nervous. For everyone else, it was just a regular Friday morning. If I were running this race outside of the pandemic, I could share these same nerves with thousands of people at the same time and place. Instead, it was just me waking up at 5am, wearing the race bib I printed myself, wearing my carefully selected outfit, and starting at an imaginary line with the moon and sun present at the exact same time. (That was incredible).
So yesterday, on the anniversary of my race, I decided to create a little video reel which I posted to Instagram. I felt it was important for me to reflect and create a visual memory of what that time meant to me. The race represented a renewal of faith within myself.
As an avid runner before the pandemic hit, I imagined running my first half marathon alongside a group of friends and a crowd cheering us every step of the way. Never would I think to believe I’d be running 13.1 miles by myself during a pandemic. That day, I proved to myself what I am truly capable of with a goal, hard work, and discipline. Through the solitude, I learned how to cheer for myself and run my own race.
Time Is…
Yesterday didn’t feel like a day that warrants a post, but again, that is not what this series is about. So, let’s see what we can come up with.
I had many mundane tasks to do yesterday which included ordering groceries and going to the grocery store, ahead of yesterday’s winter storm. Tasks that I thought would only take a half hour at most, consumed me for almost half of the day.
Timing and time tracking has been repeatedly coming up for me. Normally, I’ll assign an arbitrary time in my head for how long a certain task will take, and then somewhere down the line, I’ll exceed that time.
When it comes to work, I’m beginning to place value on my time. When it comes to everything else, I want to place that same level of respect towards my time.
Time is not abundant and while I don’t want to treat every second like a skydiving moment, I want to spend my time purposefully and intentionally. I no longer want to spend my time without value.
Acknowledge Your Growth
It’s interesting to stop and notice your own growth. For me, a moment occurred yesterday when I delivered some graphics I created for a client. For the first time in forever, I had proactively worked and completed the job four days before the deadline. This was something to celebrate!
In the process, I didn’t think much of it. I had been more focused on timing myself as I worked, to get a better sense of my productivity. I began using a time tracking extension on my browser to keep myself on task. Once I clicked that toggle on, I was in the zone.
I was unaware of how much I didn’t value my time. Even with the all-nighter I pulled a few weeks back, I unnecessarily forced myself into that situation because I poorly managed my time and didn’t value it. However, I don’t regret it because it’s part of the learning curve.
As soon as I delivered this project, I decided to check in with a different client. I inquired to see if the project I submitted a week ago had been approved. In the same breath, I asked if there was a chance to work with them on future projects.
To my surprise, they expressed how delighted they were with my work and wanted to move forward with me as a regular contractor. I was incredibly shocked.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. In completing one project, I made space to express my desire to receive more work. Ask and you shall receive. I see growth within myself that needs to be acknowledged and celebrated. This is absolutely one of those moments.
Balancing With Grace
Some days, I need time to move as slowly as I do. I had several tasks to do yesterday, but a slight detour took me way off track. As I was preparing to cook my breakfast, I thought why not record it?
I’m slowly getting into the habit of documenting what I cook, but it’s no simple endeavor. I became so wrapped up in filming and editing my video, that before I knew it, a few hours had flown by.
On one hand, it’s not a great reflection of my time management skills. On the other hand, I’m happy that I’m tapping into my creativity around food.
Balance. A word I rarely mention yet need so much of. At the same time, I need to be patient.
Yesterday, I was restless and frustrated that I allowed myself to get off track and distracted. However, I decided not to hold onto that frustration for too long because I realized I was distracted by another goal of mine.
Whether we notice it or not, there is a message in everything we do. When we take time to rest, create, cook, nap, exercise, there’s always a reason why.
In this case, I wanted to start producing content around food. Instead of being fed up with myself for taking time to do that, the real issue is not allocating time to work on creative projects.
So yes, life is a balancing act, but we must identify what exactly we’re trying to balance. And in the process, we give ourselves grace as we figure it out.
Running Anew
It’s year two in this pandemic and I find that I’m still very much accustomed to being a homebody. Lately, my days have been very routine, and I couldn’t figure out what was missing, until today.
The temperature warmed up to an acceptable degree where I decided I’d finally go out for a run. The idea of simply getting myself ready to listen to my favorite playlist and run a few miles was extremely refreshing. This time last year, I was in a much warmer climate training for my first half marathon.
As I’ve talked about in previous posts, running has become such an incredible outlet for releasing stress. More than anything, running is a mental game that mirrors how I approach and handle situations in other facets of my life. It’s given me so much confidence within myself, holistically, that I feel extremely grateful to have the energy to start my training all over again.
Although it’s been a long time, I am excited to start as a beginner again. Being in a new place, running in a colder climate, I feel as though I am writing a new chapter in my running journey. I’ve learned so much from my past that I will work towards being the best runner I know how to be.
I may be back to square one, but my energy is on square 11.
Plans Change
Earlier I had an idea of what I wanted to write about today. But that idea has since left my mind without a trace. I am drawing a blank and that’s okay.
Instead, I’ll recap my day. It was productive, and I made some soup. Not just any soup but my absolute favorite, Tom Kha Gai. It’s a soup I grew up eating when I lived in Seattle and ordered from my favorite Thai restaurant. It’s a savory and spicy coconut soup and delicious when served with rice.
I’ve been thinking a lot about creative projects that I want to start. One of which is a food project where I’d be sharing photos and videos of the dishes I love to cook.
Cooking can be a vehicle that takes you through an epic portal into another part of the world. A single taste or smell of a certain dish can transport you to new and beautiful places.
I’ve appreciated how much food connects us in unique ways. I’ve also learned incredible histories behind cuisines that connect people more than I ever could’ve imagined.
I think it’s time to declare what I want to create and make it happen.
Sunday
Every Saturday night, I’ll dream about the perfect Sunday. I’d get an early start, maybe a morning walk with some coffee, cook up something delicious, watch a show or a movie, and organize myself for the week. Today went something like that, sans a morning walk and coffee for the first time in months.
My Sunday:
Made an American brunch for the family – Kept it simple with pancakes, turkey bacon, and eggs any style.
Binged watched/finished season 2 of "Love Life” on HBOMAX – I thoroughly enjoyed both seasons and recommend it for those who love stories about love.
Made my first successful batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies – I learned the life-changing secret – brown the butter.
Started my to-do list for the week — Usually do this Monday morning but your girl was inspired to get a head start.
Today was minimal in activities but massive in reward. I took time to rest and create, and I’ll never take either for granted.