Manifesting Life
As I was cooking dinner last night, a beautiful thought crossed my mind. I realized I was living a life I had envisioned for myself.
I’ve been writing, working, creating, designing, cooking, meditating, and learning. These used to be goals and desires that I had written on countless lists. Now, they’ve become my daily activities.
Without being fully aware, I’ve managed to manifest the life I wanted.
However, I was very close to not acknowledging this achievement. As soon as I had this realization, my mind quickly focused on doing more, being better and more efficient.
I’ll never be satisfied if I keep thinking this way.
So, I’m going to stretch this moment and continue to be grateful.
Slow and Steady
Yesterday, with a long list of tasks, I struggled to harness the energy needed to get through it all. Still recovering from this cold, I knew my body needed rest. At the same time, I didn’t want to let another day pass without doing anything.
I was split.
Then, just as I was about to throw in the towel, I said to myself, “what if you do these tasks slowly and with less energy?” Yes.
By taking the pressure of performance out of the equation, I was focused on doing the best that I could do. To my surprise, I was able to complete every task on my list and it felt good. Of course, today will be filled with a lot of reviewing and revising my work, however, I’m proud of how I adapted to my needs.
I was able to be productive while still prioritizing my well-being.
Chapters
How often do we take the time to consciously close chapters in our lives? This can apply to anything - jobs, relationships, projects. A lot of times we celebrate the start of something new, and by default some chapters close.
Yesterday, I became aware that there was something outstanding that I hadn’t closed. And because I didn’t, there was a lingering feeling of being unfinished. By not being finished, I was still the person people gravitated towards when needing assistance, which began to create a sense of resentment within.
The only person responsible for this was me.
We may not always get the ending or resolution we seek. Sometimes we may even forget. However, that doesn’t mean we must continue to keep the door open. And, it’s important to create a ritual where we progress and bring things to a natural close. If you feel that it’s time to close a chapter, go ahead and close it.
One chapter must close, to commence the beginning of another.
Let the Fast Begin
Yesterday was the first day of Ethiopian Orthodox Lent. There are many ways that this religious period of time can be interpreted. In my experience, it has meant to give up meat (except fish) and dairy until Orthodox Easter, which this year falls on Sunday April 24th.
I’ve always looked forward to this time as a moment of reset, pause, and reflection. A nourishment of both the mind and body, and the opportunity to connect deeper with your spirituality.
Not to mention all the yummy and creative vegan dishes I plan on making.
As one of my last non-vegan meals before the fast began, I made a stack of the fluffiest pancakes. It was a beautiful moment of absolute indulgence.
Great-Full
Sunday was filled with utter gratitude. As I began to catch the mild wrath of yesterday’s cold, I couldn’t help but feel extremely grateful for living in a place where everything I needed was just a few taps away. In a time of uncertainty and absolute chaos, the practice of immense gratitude is vital.
Healing Powers
What was meant to be a restorative and relaxing Saturday, turned out to be a day filled with cough drops, ginger tea, and an endless amount of Emergen-C infused bottles of water. An unexpected cold swept through the house. I was wasn’t affected which meant I was on duty to provide all the healing resources needed for everyone to overcome this cold. Thankfully, it wasn’t the virus heard ‘round the world, but another bug instead.
I focused on home remedies. I made immunity shots filled with turmeric, honey, ginger, garlic, and lemon. Boiled tea infused with ginger and garlic. Yes, lots of ginger and garlic in this house. They are magically healing spices. And prescribed endless amounts water and rest.
It was truly rewarding to create these remedies. It was as though I stepped into the shoes of a healer.
Persistence is Key
I spent Friday doing something I’ve absolutely dreaded in the past — updating my resume. I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets in their head when it comes time to articulating, boasting, and quantifying their career on a single page.
Not to mention, the step after you finish toiling over your resume; submitting it to positions only to hear crickets chirping because there’s usually no reply. It’s a real confidence booster.
It was evident that I needed to do something different. Not only for the sake of getting some responses, but in the overall process and feeling good about my career and myself. So, I went back to the drawing board and did some research.
I began a deep dive to understand the best ways to write a resume and subsequently, a cover letter. Now I know more than anything that the job market is a “it’s who you know” game, but that can still only take you so far. What I began to stumble upon made so much sense that I couldn’t believe I was still using such an outdated approach.
Targeted Resumes.
It made absolute sense. Here I am, mentioning all kinds of projects, jobs, and contracts in my resume, which says a lot about me, but may have no relevancy to the job I’m applying for. In the same way that website content should be optimized for SEO (search engine optimization), so too should your resume for the exact position you’re applying for.
I experienced a moment of absolute clarity and motivation to revamp my approach and cater each resume and cover letter to the position of my choice. I have yet to test this out for myself, but I’m truly confident in this approach.
Whether or not this works is not what’s extremely important to me. Yes, that’s the whole reason I set out on this quest; however, I’ve gained something a lot more valuable. Keep learning until you’ve arrived.
GOAT
A couple days ago, I decided to re-watch the Last Dance. I needed some motivation and the first thing that popped into my mind was this glorious docuseries about the Chicago Bulls, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and an exceptional time in basketball.
Growing up, I wasn’t oblivious to basketball, but I also wasn’t the most active Seattle Sonics fan. However, I did grow up in a house where basketball games, ESPN, and faces like the great Stuart Scott were prevalent on our TV screens. When I was about 8 or 9, I even went to see the Lakers play the Sonics in LA, at the then Staples Center, which is a memory I deeply cherish. That day was a good day 😏.
When I first watched the Last Dance, I was completely captivated by the retelling of such an extraordinary time in sports history. Obviously, I knew Michael Jordan was the greatest of all time, but this series helped me to learn exactly how he became the GOAT.
His discipline, focus, and above all else his belief within himself, drove him to be the best. I think the best part about this series was asking my brothers about specific games or feuds they remembered from this time and listening to their perspectives. I’ve developed a deeper connection and respect for the game of basketball which I am grateful for.
This beautifully produced series will always serve as a source of inspiration for me. I’m reminded that being the greatest of all time is a mindset. You have to first believe you’re capable, before you can make it happen.
Ugly Delicious
I’ve been slowly trying to create and share a consistent stream of food content. Cooking has become one of my favorite ways to create, indulge, travel, learn, and most of all connect with others. I feel so grateful to have access to spices, ingredients, and a never-ending source of recipes from other passionate culinary artists.
However, being the perfectionist-ish type of person that I am, I always want to create the “perfect” video or photos of what I cook. I’ll cook something, document it and because I don’t like the footage, I’ll toss it to the side. The footage, not the food – never the food.
And then I’m reminded of one of my favorite food shows, Ugly Delicious. One of my favorite chefs is David Chang, and he started this Netflix show where he’ll focus on one dish, or ingredient, and see how people prepare it around the world. It’s such a beautiful concept that truly shows how deeply food connects us all.
The title of the show, Ugly Delicious, refers to photos that David Chang would take of his dishes, which weren’t always visually appealing, but deliciously tasting. It’s the perfect concept.
Yes, it’s absolutely satisfying to capture food in its glorious beauty. But sometimes, it’s messy and that’s cool. I’ll continue to get in the kitchen, create (a mess), eat, and be happy.
Happiness and perfection are not synonymous for a reason.
Restoration
It’s hard to reflect on yesterday when my mind is so consumed by the things I need to do today. The orientation that I’ve developed with these daily thoughts have been reflective. Initially, I wanted these posts to capture my present thoughts. However, I’ve enjoyed processing the day and being able to find the lessons and values they each offer.
At the same time, I don’t want to add any expectations on myself in needing to find the values or lessons in every post. Sometimes, I don’t always see the value. That’s okay. The last thing I want to do is write in a forced manner.
In the last few days though, I noticed that I have.
A week ago, I began using my sun photos to share a visual quote of my daily thoughts. I’d then post these visuals to my social platforms. Slowly, I could feel myself putting a slight pressure on writing richer quotes that would elicit more of a reaction.
It’s natural, I work in marketing.
But after pouring out these thoughts, I feel a sense of restoration. I’m grateful for the awareness to bring my attention back to my purpose.
It’s Possible
Yesterday made me realized how much of what I want is simply waiting for me.
I’ve put so many of my goals on a timeline, but the reality is, if I want it, I can get it. Anytime.
My Monday consisted of me working on a large to-do list and finding myself completing every task by the end of the long day. Not to mention working on an improvised task and still managing to complete it.
It was one of those days where I sat and pondered, “If every day were like this, the things I could accomplish!?”
A flurry of new possibilities rushes your mind, and you begin to look at yourself in a whole new light. The trick is to keep yourself in that mindset. Treating each day as though you can make anything happen.
Whether you do or not is irrelevant. You just have to maintain the magical illusion that it’s possible.
An Honest Con-Artist
My weekend was filled with a slow and steady routine of self-care. I spent yesterday gently restoring my hair to its nourished and moisturized state of being. I intentionally took my time as it had been a while since I did a full wash day with a treatment.
The soundtrack to my weekend was binging a show that completely captivated my attention – Inventing Anna. This Netflix exposé, created by Shonda Rhimes, featured the story of Anna Delvey who touted herself as a “German Heiress.” She navigated the wealthy and exclusive inner circles of New York’s elite, misleading and fraudulently securing funds for her foundation.
Basically another Fyre Festival.
What struck me the most about her story was thinking about her confidence. Yes, she absolutely defrauded people, put her friends in the worst position, and stole people’s money, but I couldn’t ignore how she did it. Confidence.
She was a con-woman — confidence woman. She was able to do all that she did by simply believing she could do it. I mention this because I want to separate her confidence with the wrongdoing she committed.
Here was someone who didn’t have the means to backup what she said, but still found a way to make it happen for herself. Aside from the fraudulent practices, if you’re an honest, hardworking person, what’s stopping you from getting anything that you want? Seriously?
Watching the whole season, I was mystified that this young girl was able to finesse her way into these spaces. I kept thinking she should’ve just tried to get a ridiculously high-paying job with all the incredibly connected people she was schmoozing with.
With confidence, you can finesse anything in life. Being an honest con-artist might be the new wave.
Rest with Confidence
I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing on Saturday and it was amazing.
In the past, whenever I felt myself needing a break or some time off, I could never fully enjoy it. There would be a part of me that felt guilty, lazy, or overindulgent.
I was reminded by someone to be confident in whatever decision I make when it comes to caring for myself. Don’t make excuses or feel bad about your choices. Make them, stick with them, enjoy them, move on.
Easier said than done, but yesterday felt like the first time I tried to embody this. I didn’t do an ounce of anything but lounge around and it was wonderful.
Whatever it is you feel, experience it with confidence.
Push Through
Yesterday was the first time in a while where it felt like a true Friday. It just so happens that a project I was finishing up, had a deadline of Friday, end of day.
This was a project that took me way out of my comfort zone. And while I couldn’t help but second guess every step of the way, I am so proud to say I completed the job before the deadline.
I forget how I’m capable of persevering, even when I doubt myself. Ideally, I would like to be more confident in the moment as opposed to after the fact. However, it’s also important for me to realize that sometimes you just have to push through, even when you’re uncomfortable.
Especially when you’re uncomfortable.
Wins
In yesterday’s post, I mentioned how I was going to start writing down my wins every day. After having a reflective conversation with my mom, she reminded me of how powerful it is to complete your day by highlighting what you’ve accomplished. These wins can be big or small. They can be things you completed or things that made you happy. So, to kick this off, I decided to share my first entry with you all.
Wins 2/17/22:
Meditated in the morning
Wrote in my journal
Wrote my daily thoughts
First food article was published
Went for a walk
Took a break and meditated
Continued to work, even though I wasn’t in the mood
Got free cookies and prosecco
Had a lovely chat with my cousin
Meditated before bed
Writing some of these wins down feels silly but collectively looking over them makes me happy. It’s easy to forget or brush off the good things about your day. When you normalize celebrating the good in your life, big or small, you begin to grow in gratitude.
Own Your Doubts
Lately, I’ve been taking on new contract jobs that have been pushing me outside of my comfort zone. A few months back, if you told me I’d be getting these writing jobs, I would only believe you if you said I finished some sort of online course on the subject. But even then, I still wouldn’t fully believe that I was actually going after such jobs.
Some may recognize this as, “Imposter Syndrome,” but for me, it’s been my default way of thinking. I’ve said this before, but what’s shifted the confidence in my skillset has come from this daily practice of writing. More specifically, in the practice of letting go of expectations, accepting what comes naturally, and realizing the value within that.
When I apply for jobs, I’m confident, driven, and focused. Once I land the contract, I’ll pause and say to myself, “Whoa, who do you think you are to finesse a gig like this?” It won’t be in a negative tone but more like a moment of disbelief. Think Quinta B, “Oh, he got money.”
What I’ve been noticing is how I’ll feel super confident one moment, and then terrified the next. But that’s normal. After sharing these thoughts with my mom, she gave me her usual dose of wisdom.
“Have the awareness to recognize moments of doubt, don’t ignore them, but be curious.” She went on to remind me of the importance in writing down your wins each day. Reflecting on what you’ve accomplished and what you’re most proud of. Count your wins until they outweigh your doubts.
Drawing a ______
Thinking back to what I did yesterday is causing me to draw a blank. I feel as though it wasn’t as significant, even though I know I accomplished quite a lot. Or maybe I’m afraid I’ll be redundant with the posts I’ve been writing.
Either way, I’ll keep it short. Finished a few projects, ran a few errands, ate some salad, watched some Golden Girls, and fell asleep feeling extremely grateful.
It was a beautifully basic day.
Be The Present Moment
My day of love consisted of me trying to do everything on my to-do list. As you may have read in my previous post, my Sunday was thrown out of whack and Monday was my day to catch up.
I spent the day finishing projects with the looming desire to still cook all the food I had planned for the day before. I was determined to turn our Superbowl Sunday Feast into a Valentine’s Day dinner.
By the time I finished my work, I was pretty wiped out. However, I pretty much forced myself to still cook and document everything I made.
We ate as the food was ready, but I didn’t finish cooking until 11pm. By that time, I was completely exhausted.
While I enjoyed cooking and seeing the smiles on the faces of my loved ones, I was too tired to really be present with them in the moment. Sometimes I can be stubborn and not let go of the things I want to do.
Even if that means, pushing myself to my limit. And as I was cooking, I remember thinking how much I wished I had been present to the evening, laughing and watching tv instead of running around the kitchen like I was on Top Chef.
I’m still learning to balance everything. I think I still get in my head about trying to create the perfect time. Like if I don’t, our time would be less significant. Crazy, I know. All that really matters is being around the people you love.
Be in the present moment, instead of trying to create the perfect moment.
Super Scavenger Hunt Sunday
I had the perfect plan for Superbowl Sunday. Although, it had more to do with food than it did with the actual game.
On Saturday, I planned out all the groceries I would need to prepare a fun feast for game day. I anticipated my Sunday would be extremely busy because I was also blessed with a new contract job that I started the day before. I divvied up my day to writing and cooking.
I woke up early Sunday morning, ready to receive the groceries, but my plan was completely thrown off course. What was supposed to be a simple grocery handoff, turned into an unexpected scavenger hunt.
I had been communicating with the delivery driver on where to drop off the groceries. Even though he was literally just down the street from me, at some point he stopped communicating and all I received was a photo of my groceries in a random location.
Below the photo he replied, “Thanks.” I was utterly confused. I texted him where he left them but no response. It was so bizarre. Why wouldn’t he tell me where he left my groceries? I’m sitting here laughing as I write this because it was the strangest, most annoying, and weird, interaction that I had experienced in a while.
I began to scour my apartment building, trying to match the surroundings in the photo. No luck. Then I had the idea to look at his last location, which was just down the street.
I was so curious to solve this weird mystery, that I ventured out into the cold, snowy weather, and began looking at the nearby buildings. To my utter surprise, I peered into a garage, behind a restaurant, and see a slightly open door with recognizable items, holding it open. My groceries.
I then grabbed a flatbed cart from my building, piled the groceries onto it, and pulled the cart back to my building, up an inclined hill.
It was hard not to be in a bad mood after this incident. I had scheduled my day out perfectly to accomplish everything that I wished to do. After spending a few hours resolving this issue, I realized it just wasn’t feasible to get everything done.
Normally, I would’ve pushed myself to still work and cook and make sure everyone was happy. However, I knew I didn’t have the energy to do it all. In the end, I decided to put myself first. I prioritized my work and ordered a pizza.
I know I made the right decision, but a part of me still felt like I failed. The reality is though, I am not in control of what could happen around me. You can plan everything to a T, but there’s no guarantee that any of it will go as planned.
I had to pivot and what made my decision easier was knowing my priorities. Moments like this are bound to happen, all we can control is how we react to the situation.
Memories
After a productive Friday, I entered my weekend the best way possible. I slept a full 10 hours, and it was beyond incredible. It’s rare for me to get a long and restful night, but when it happens it’s truly magical.
My Saturday was off to a beautiful start.
After meditating, I sat to write in my journal, and found myself daydreaming and writing about moments of bliss in my life. It’s amazing how your memories can transport you to that exact moment in time. It’s basically time traveling.
And it wasn’t as though I was wishing to be back in that time and place, I was simply appreciating that memory and the people I was sharing it with.
Normally, when I think about joyful memories from the past, I wish I could relive them over and over again. This time was different. I was grateful for the sweet memories, but still acknowledged the gift of the present moment.
It was as if I was putting these memories in my mental projector, watching them and being grateful they happened in the first place.