Showing Up
Yesterday was quite the busy day for me. It was a rare instance where deadlines, for different projects, began to overlap with one another. My attention was being demanded by multiple tabs on my computer at the same time. A break was needed.
I planned my second run of the Nike Training plan in the afternoon, and it could not have come at a better time. Just as I took my break, the sun began to glisten in the bright blue sky. I quickly geared up and set out for another 20-minute run.
For some reason, the Nike Running app didn’t apply my last run toward my overall progress. I decided to do the run over, so it can properly be recorded.
I let my music play as normal and ran through the wonderous trail. It felt magical. I couldn’t stop noticing the leaves and flowers that seemed to have doubled in growth since my last run. I couldn’t resist a quick stop to snap some photos of the beautiful cherry blossoms that lined the trail. They reminded me of springtime in Seattle and how spoiled I was walking through a quad filled with an endless promenade of cherry blossoms at UW during this time.
I ended my run feeling a little bit stronger. After I finished the run on my app, the standard congratulatory message, pre-recorded from a Nike head coach, played. It’s a message that I’ve heard before, but this time it hit differently. “You’re a better runner now, than when you started this run.” It was true. Not only did I show up, but I was able to improve my time by a fraction of a minute.
You’ll only improve when you continue to show up.
How Do You Like Them Potatoes?
The theme of yesterday was potatoes so yes, this title felt appropriate. Last week when I ordered groceries, I somehow accidentally ordered an extra number of potatoes which resulted in 13 pounds of potatoes. I was slowly doing my best to cook a variety of potato dishes - oven roasted, potato wedges, and vegan Gnocchi. To my surprise it barely made a dent in the mass. And there were only so many forms of potatoes I could eat in a short period of time before I grew tired. I knew I had to strategize and make use of the rest of the potatoes before they aggressively began to grow spikes, which some already had.
And thus began my long and arduous evening. My plan was simple, skin potatoes, cut them into fries, then boil and pack them away in the freezer. While I truly believed it would only take a few hours, I greatly underestimated the process. Not to mention halfway through, I decided to cook two batches of potato wedges to decrease the pile.
Eventually, I worked my way through all the potatoes until I ended up with two large freezer bags of fries ready to freeze, and a large container of potato wedges to enjoy for the week. I was truly proud of what I had accomplished even though the process was new and took me into the early hours of the morning.
The lesson: When you accomplish something that seems out of reach, you’re reminded of your tenacious capacity.
Spring Awakening
First day of spring was spent beautifully. While I didn’t spend all that much time outside, I had a glorious day in the kitchen cooking and documenting a new recipe that I learned.
There was an ease to my day where I didn’t hold any expectation too high.
As the weather begins to blossom, I can’t help but feel the same internally. It’s been a while since I experienced a traditional spring. Seeing the trees grow their luscious green leaves and delicate cherry blossoms, I feel grateful.
Seasons truly remind us of the beauty that change brings.
A Slow First Run
Getting back into running has been a slow but joyous process. Yesterday was my third run in recent weeks, and I decided to take a different approach in my training.
I use the Nike Run Club app to keep track of all my runs. While I was perusing the app, I stumbled across a 4-week training plan. One thing about me is that I love to build schedules around my goals. I love breaking them down into digestible steps that ultimately help me accomplish what I set out to do. The minute I saw this training plan, I was sold.
I woke up bright and early yesterday, got my running gear on, and headed out into the glorious spring weather. The first run was a 20-minute guided recovery run. A guided run basically means having the voice of a Nike coach talking to you throughout your run. I’m usually extremely picky about what I listen to because it can either make or break the tone of my run. But since I wanted to do this training the right way, I decided to let the guided run play over my music.
I welcomed the voice of the Nike Running Global Head Coach, Chris Bennett through my wireless headphones. He started off by emphasizing that the tone of this run is easy and slow. The goal was to pace yourself and be in control of your breath. Initially, I could feel my body craving to run faster. Typically, I measure my runs by my per-mile time or by how many miles I’d end up running. This run was extremely different because the emphasis was on placed on my comfortability. One thing that Coach Bennett said that struck me was, “sometimes you have to go slow, to go fast.”
I resonated with what that statement so strongly. And not just in the case of running but in life. We get caught up in thinking faster is better, hustle more, grind harder. What about moving slowly with intention, taking deep breaths, or just feeling good in the process? I began to look at my journey back into running with a different perspective. The only way to run fast is to first run slow.
Not Yet Known
Learning something new is like learning how to ride a bike. At least that’s what it feels like for me. At first, I feel wobbly but the more I practice, I begin to feel stable and then pretty soon I’m ready to ride. I started a new contract on Friday, and it was a day of firsts. I was exploring a new form of writing, with a new set of rules, in a new sector. While I appreciate being exposed to new projects, there’s always that uneasy feeling where I ask myself, “can I do this?”
However, for the first time, I wanted to chase that uneasy feeling instead of shy away from it. Stepping into the unknown has always made me fearful. I think most of us feel that way because we are stepping away from what we know. But as you push yourself into new experiences, you’re reassured to know you can survive it. The unknown isn’t scary, it’s just not yet known.
I count myself fortunate to be pushed outside of my comfort zone, because only then do I begin to see myself fully.
How to Make Friends
About a month ago, I received a DM to write about a specific topic. The request was to write about how to make friends. Initially, I was honored that someone had been reading my daily thoughts and was interested to hear more from me. I happily accepted the request. However, shortly after, I thought to myself – do I know how to make friends?
I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some incredible souls that I am honored to call friends, but I’ve never thought about the process of actually making a friend. There have been instances where I’ve intentionally tried to be friends with someone, but it didn’t always pan out. And I think I know why. It was the simple fact that I was expectating to make friends. If you’re fixated on the goal of making friends, then you’re missing out on the joy of being surrounded by incredible people.
People come into our lives for a reason. It may be for a brief, or long, period. Either way, it’s not something you plan, it just happens. So, here’s my advice. Be present and enjoy the moment you share with them, regardless of how long it may last. More importantly, strive to enjoy your own company. Everything in our lives is a reflection of our inner landscape. Live the life that makes you happy and see who shows up – those are your friends.
Two Years
I stared at yesterday’s date for a few minutes, racking my brain trying to understand why March 16th was a memorable day. Slowly, it sunk in. March 16th, 2020 was the official day most of us went into lockdown. Two years. Feels like a lifetime ago.
There isn’t much that I have to say about the last two years because I think we’re all aware. One thing I’ve learned is that change is truly the only constant in life.
Where, and who, I was two years ago is drastically different than present day. Now, I count every minute as something to celebrate and be grateful for.
More gratitude present in the world, means opportunity to heal ourselves.
Happily Frustrated
Going on my run yesterday wasn’t exactly what I expected. I decided to run 2 miles instead of the forceful 3 I ran last week. While I quite literally got ahead of myself on my last run, I know that this stage of my running is about slowly building back endurance. However, I couldn’t shake the expectations I placed on myself yesterday.
Taking time to do things right, I started with my usual 5 minute warm up. My body is still carrying some residual soreness from my last run. As I began running, I could feel this overwhelming sense of heaviness weighing me down. My legs were aching early on, making me question if I could complete this run without stopping.
Eventually, I listened to my body and slowed my pace to a walk. But I wasn’t happy about it. In my mind, stopping to walk is the ultimate surrender to a perfect run. Even if my pace is extremely slow, I can at least finish my run saying that I completed it nonstop.
As I began to walk, I could feel the frustration bubble up inside. In that moment, I began to harness the emotion. I transformed it. Being frustrated made me realize how much I wanted to do better.
The more frustrated I was, the more I convinced myself that I’m going to reach my goal.
The Present Gift
Yesterday was beautiful. I unexpectedly spent my day with family I hadn’t seen in quite some time. It was joyous. We ate delicious food, walked around under the sun, and closed the day with the most beautiful sunset I had seen in a long time.
I was pleasantly reminded to welcome the gifts that the present moment has to offer.
IDK
What should I do today?
I should get a head start on tasks for the week.
Ehh. I’m not feeling it.
I don’t want to do anything.
Let me watch The Weekend Away.
That could’ve been a lot better.
I want to watch some classic films.
Watches Speed for the first time.
I love Keanu Reeves.
Watches The Negotiator for the first time.
That was such a great movie. Samuel L. Jackson is a beast.
I didn’t do anything, and it felt great.
A Nostalgic State of Mind
You ever become super nostalgic and crave to relive a moment from your tweens? Just me? Cool!
I absolutely love re-watching films that narrated the various stages of my adolescence. It’s so fun to relive the moments and examine why I fell in love with these gems in the first place.
On this particular Saturday, I was in the mood to re-watch High School Musical. It had been quite some time since I sat down and watched the whole movie through. Watching this nearly 20-year-old (whoa) film, was like a cringeworthy path down memory lane. I shamelessly sang to every song and still swooned watching my childhood crush, Zac Efron, Get His Head in The Game.
Nostalgia is an interesting phenomenon. You can easily access the memory of how you initially felt, but as time passes you begin to be on the outside looking in.
Routines
I have a love-hate relationship with routines. They can be really great because they serve as a guide to keep us on track with our goals. At the same time, they can be a nuisance when you get off track and fall behind.
On Friday, I was grateful for my routine. Increasingly, I’ve been practicing handling my workload. My routine has consisted of blocking off my mornings to get the bulk of my writing done. Slowly, I’m becoming comfortable with a routine of iteration, especially when it comes to writing.
After finding the energy, and focus, to work on a draft late Thursday evening, I woke up early Friday morning with a solid plan to finalize an article. A few hours later, I happily completed and submitted my work.
Holding yourself accountable, and following through, is an underrated joy.
Sore Thoughts
When I began training for the half marathon over a year ago, I always made sure to include a proper warm up, and cool down, before and after each run. It’s something I learned through the countless runs I ran alongside the Nike Run Club in Miami. The warmups almost always included a slow-paced jog, high knees, butt kicks, hamstring stretches, jumping jacks, lunges, karaoke drills, and high kicks. As you build up your endurance, your body becomes increasingly comfortable with these warmups.
However, if you’re like me and slowly getting back into it, your body will feel that extra soreness in the beginning. Every move I made yesterday ached with a reminder that I’m starting to re-condition my body. In the afternoon, I became so fatigued that I had to stop whatever I was working on and lay down.
After 30 minutes of a serenely deep meditation, I felt reenergized to continue my work. Yesterday was a reminder of how important the balance of physical well-being is to my sometimes over sedentary life.
I think a true state of wellness is the equal part balance of physical and mental well-being.
Drafting
A lesson that I’m finally learning as a writer is the gift of drafting. I’ve conditioned myself to believe that I must write as if I’m using a typewriter, where every word is final. No wonder I had become so comfortable with procrastinating. I was avoiding falling below a ridiculously high standard that I set for myself.
Yesterday, as I was working on an article for a client, I was presently aware of how much I disliked what I was initially writing. However, I began to remind myself that the first part of the writing process is solely about getting your ideas on the page.
Resist the urge to judge the words just as they become free from your mind.
No Time Like the Joyful
Waking up today, my body was sore but happy. I went on my first run in quite some time yesterday, and it was absolutely refreshing. With my new shoes on, I couldn’t help but push myself to try and complete a 3-mile run.
While I pushed myself a little too hard, and felt the pains of being out of shape, I felt inspired. I’m not sure if it was the fact that I ran on International Women’s Day, or that I was wearing comfortable shoes, or that the weather was perfect, but everything just seemed to align.
Even as I stopped to walk during my run, I was joyful.
For the first time, my attention fixated on my excitement in getting back to running. I chose not to waste my time comparing this version of myself to past versions. What inspired me were the possibilities that lay ahead.
There has never been a moment or time like this before. I was reminded to treat it as such.
Off Track
Don’t you just love the days when you get completely off track? Yesterday was one of those days for me. I completed some tasks in the morning and what was meant to be a slight tweak to my website’s design, veered off into a full day project.
In order to save the changes, to the site, I had to publish them to be live. Which meant that anyone who visited would see an incomplete site. I couldn’t dismiss this sense of urgency, so I kept working on it until I burned out.
By the end of the day my eyes were fatigued from staring at the screen with no sense of accomplishment.
It wasn’t until the very last minute, that I finally figured out how to unlink the pages I was working on. Which meant that I could edit and refine them, until they were ready to be published.
Knowing this, I ended the day feeling a slight sense of resolution. As much as you might feel off track, trust that you will always find your way back.
A New Balance
With the weather beginning to warm up, it’s finally time for me to start running again. While the weather hasn’t necessarily been an excuse for me before, it’s definitely harder to summon the energy to go out for a run when it’s freezing. However, that wasn’t the biggest obstacle for me. It was my shoes.
According to my Nike Run Club app, my current pair of shoes has 245 miles on it. The app has a cool feature where you can add the exact model of the shoe you wear on your runs, whether they’re Nike or another brand.
While I believe I could still get more use out of them, the shoes have always been a little too tight for comfort. They got me through my first half marathon, and I’ll always cherish that memory. However, it’s time I retire them.
Finding the right running shoe has been a long and complex journey for me. Before landing the pair of shoes I have now, I bought two other pairs that just didn’t have what I was looking for.
After a solid month of trying, buying, and returning shoes, I’ve landed on a pair that finally make me happy.
They’re a pair of New Balance shoes that are comfy, light, and wide. My favorite part about them is their fiery red-orange color.
I’m truly excited to get back to running. Buying a pair of New Balance shoes seems to have a deeper meaning now. I foresee the balance that running will restore to my life.
Fish and Chips, Anyone?
When I have an idea in my head that I’m really excited about, it’s hard to ignore it. As you may, or may not, have read in previous posts, I’ve started observing Orthodox Lent. I’ve chosen to be a vegan/pescatarian until Orthodox Easter on April 24th. My diet hasn’t changed all that much, but I’m having so much fun finding new recipes.
All last week, I envisioned cooking and eating Fish and Chips. I’ve never made fried fish or fries, but since I’ve had experience frying breaded chicken I figured I’d be able to manage this.
I had no idea how long it would take, but I found two recipes that quickly consumed my entire Saturday afternoon and evening. On the menu was:
Beer Battered Cod
French Fries
Vegan Tartar Sauce
I made a quick dash to the store, grabbed a few things, and opened Aida’s Diner for business.
In addition to cooking this new recipe, I had also planned to shoot each step of the recipe to later edit the footage for a video. This was probably the hardest part for me because I was focused on how everything looked on camera, while simultaneously cooking a new recipe. It’s exhausting in the moment, but once I sit down to edit the clips I’m grateful I summoned the energy to make it happen.
After four arduous hours in the kitchen, I created exactly what I envisioned – crispy beer battered fish and chips with vegan tartar sauce. I was in complete awe. I couldn’t believe that I made a new dish that was both delicious and looked picture perfect. Who was I?
This was such a savory moment. It’s a blessing to have the ability to bring your ideas to fruition.
Identifying
This week, being extremely productive, has left me with a high. I’m finally in alignment with so many things that I’ve wanted to do, and it feels amazing.
However, I couldn’t help but be aware of how much I see myself identify with these accomplishments.
Meaning, that if this week had not been productive, I would’ve identified with that as well, but in a negative way.
Yes, it’s great to be accomplishing my goals. However, if I fail to do something right, spend time procrastinating, or forget deadlines, I shouldn’t internalize it.
Slowly, I’m beginning to realize that what I do shouldn’t reflect who I am.